The only thing, that could scare the shit out of a Demon… is a Deva!
by Renillion
Summary: How a small thought can escalate to a big stress mess, with a little helpful nudge in the right direction, from the right person :) Rated: M, because Gintoki likes to curse a lot. Gintoki x Otae one-shot. UPDATED: 01.03.2017


**Hi everyone! I've read tons of fanfiction over the years (I started while in school), but I've never written anything before. Until one faithful day, I was bored out of my mind at work, and I had nothing to do, and this crazy idea popped into my head, and I love Gintama bigtime, so I just thought "** _ **Hell, why not?**_ **" so I just started writing there… and now here I am, posting it on one of my favorite sites of all time. Hope you can enjoy it!**

 **Lines that are in italics –** " _like this_ _"_ _ **–**_ **represent Gintoki's thoughts.** **And words in brackets –** (like this) **–** **are the thoughts of the author**. **Trust me, it will all make sense soon.**

 **WARNING: Very slight spoilers for the "Be Forever Yorozuya" movie, the "Farewell Shinsengumi", "The Four Devas" and the "Beam Sword Style" arcs. Practically trivial.**

 **Gintoki x Otae one-shot.**

 **01.03.2017 - UPDATE: Added about 600 words, worth of dialogue and descriptions. Also some grammar fixes.**

* * *

It was a day like any other in Kabukichou. The streets were bustling with people and amanto who were busy doing their jobs and following schedules.

It was the same, for our main character as well - Sakata Gintoki. He, Shinpachi and Kagura had just finished a job - babysitting for the Miyazaki residence early in the morning, while Mr. Miyazaki and his wife go run some urgent errands. At first, our protagonist thought it would be an easy gig - after all, there were three of them, so how bad could looking after a few kids be, right? Well, it turns out it can be a disaster - when they outnumber you 4 to 1. And, some of those kids could bite _really_ hard!

"Seriously, 12 kids?! Is Mrs. Miyazaki a Stargate or something? Do kids just pop out of her like battleships all the time?!" ranted Gintoki, as he and the other two were slowly making their way back to the Yorozuya.

Shinpachi straightened his glasses. "It couldn't be helped, right? You already accepted the job before we saw all the kids." he didn't look all too pleased from the development as well.

"Yeah! You should have noticed something was fishy the moment they offered so much cash for that so called ' _simple_ ' babysitting job!" Absentmindedly, Kagura started picking her nose with her pinkie. "Seriously, our leader can be a real pathetic excuse for a protagonist sometimes… unlike the main heroine of the show!"

That last statement didn't quite sit right with the bespectacled teen. "Ano, Kagura-chan? I doubt publicly picking your nose in broad daylight is considered to be proper heroine behavior. Couldn't you try to be a bit more decent?"

"What was that, you four-eyed, cherry boy!? You got a problem with my feminine charms?! At least my character stands out. You're just a pair of glasses!"

Shinpachi went ballistic. "Enough with the glasses jokes, already! You've been doing it for years! Think of some new material, damn it!"

"Oiiiii! Knock it off, you two! Or are you saying you don't want your shares?! Because that would be perfect! All the more for me to spend on pachinko!" Gintoki was only joking, of course. The brats did a good job, and he was planning on splitting the cash equally with them for once. At least the pay was good.

"No way! We want our shares!" they both chorused together.

Yup, a day just like any other for Kabukichou. After making their way back to the Yorozuya, and dividing the cash evenly, the trio decided to split up.

Shinpachi would go buy some new Otsu merchandise with his share, then go tend to his Otsu fan club. Thankfully, he didn't have to do any instructing at the Koudoukan dojo for all the beggars today.

Kagura, on the other hand, said something about going off to get some sukonbu, then go visit princess Soyo. She was still very worried about the young princess, after she lost her brother like that, and tended to visit her more often these days.

This left Gintoki alone, at home with nothing in particular to do, except lightly spin in his chair, pondering over what to do next. He didn't really feel like going to pachinko. He would probably meet Hasegawa there somewhere, and he owed him some cash...

Gintoki lazily closed his eyes in thought. _"_ _To think I even owe money to a homeless beggar... What has my life been reduced to?_ _"_

" _OK, what are my other options then?_ _"_

"№ _1 - Read some manga?_ _"_

" _Well, I already read the latest JUMP issue._ _Seriously_ _though,_ _Gintaman really sucked this week_ _,_ _as well._ _"_

"№ _2 - Go to Yoshiwara?_ _"_

„ _Hmm... don't feel like it. I was there two days ago anyway._ _"_

"№ _3 - Hit the bars, drinking?_ _"_

" _Now_ _ **that**_ _is definitely an option, but it's still a bit too early for it. Maybe later._ _"_

"№ _4 - Go to... the beach, or something?_ _"_

" _What am I even thinking?! It's already fall season, it's too cold for the beach!_ _"_

" _I can't believe I don't have anything to do right now!_ _ **Wow**_ _, I almost sorta miss the Shinsengumi._ _At least,_ _if they were here, I could stir up some shit with them and do SOMETHING!_ _"_

" _Well, there's always option number 5 - Go see how Otae is doing? I haven't done that in a while. Plus, she'll be working at the cabaret tonight, right? Maybe later I could go with her and start my number 3 option at 'Snack Smile' tonight._ _"_

"Sounds like a plan, I guess." he said to no one in particular, as he lifted himself off his chair, and headed for the main entrance.

Honestly, he wasn't at all motivated for it. She'd probably get him to spend all his hard earned cash on that expensive Don Perignon stuff, before he even gets to the second bar, but whatever, at least he would be doing **something** , and she'll be happy.

" _... Wait, what?_ _"_ he suddenly came to a halt. _"_ _Since when has her happiness been on my priority list?_ _"_

Apparently, it has been for quite some time now.

" _Weird. I'll think on it while I walk to the dojo._ _"_

So just like that, he slipped into his boots and was off towards his destination, then the contemplation began.

" _I mean sure, she_ _ **is**_ _Shinpachi's sister, that has to be a factor to some degree, and we have been through a lot together._ _"_

" _She's nursed me back to health, like what - 100 times by now? Though she has also tried to kill me on several occasions as well._ _"_

" _She's definitely no Ketsuno Ana, that's for sure. And I only like Miss Ketsuno. Though, maybe recently I've started to think that Otae's genuine smile is nicer than Miss Ketsuno's?_ _"_

" _Huh…_ _when_ _did_ _ **that**_ _happen?_ _"_

Probably so long ago, you can't even remember.

" _No way… there is absolutely no way I like her like that. I mean_ _ **come on**_ _, she's flat as a board!_ _"_

Ketsuno Ana has never had huge boobs either, though.

" _True... Hold on, who the hell am I arguing with here?!_ _"_

Oh, hi... I'm the author of this little story. My name is Ya-.

" _Man you're annoying, could you please get out of my head so I can think in peace here?!_ _"_

Not even gonna let me introduce myself, huh? Sounds to me like you're stressed my friend... Love problems, maybe?

" _No! And that wasn't funny, you bastard!_ _"_

Hey, it's not my fault you're as dense as they come. Twice more stubborn than the girl, too.

" _Oh, so everybody is a damn critic nowadays. Just piss off, I'm not in the mood for this crap!_ _"_

Fine, I don't feel like dealing with your bullshit, either. See ya later, curly-perm!

(I'll just watch you from the shadows! _***evil snicker***_ )

" _What the hell was that all about? Does everybody here, think they can write great stories or draw cool manga?! That shit ain't easy you bastards! Just go ask Oda, Kubo or Kishimoto-senseis, you pricks!_ _"_

(Oh suuuure, just give me a sec. I have all three of them on speed dial…)

" _Anyway, back on topic - there is absolutely no way I like Otae in 'that way'._ _"_

" _...even though seeing her cry is one of the last things I want to see?"_

" _Despite the fact, I punched the living daylights out of the new shogun for her?_ _"_

" _And we did have those few moments in both of the movies, didn't we? That certainly wasn't my imagination, right?_ _"_

" _And what about episode 156? If_ _ **that**_ _wasn't foreshadowing, then I don't know what is._ _"_

" _...is it possible? Do I really like her? ...This is sooo bad. Out of all the women in the world, I had to go and fall for Shinpachi's sister - a.k.a the craziest woman I know._ _"_

" _Am I really that stupid?!_ _"_

" _There's no way that things are gonna happen between us. It's already been 316 episodes, and I'm still nowhere near a relationship with her! This is bullshit!_ _"_

The poor guy was so into his inner rant, he didn't notice he actually shifted to speaking out loud midway...

"It's like – no matter what I do, it's always back to square one with her by the start of the next chapter or episode, huh?"

(So now you're just plain ranting, curly?)

"Damn this manga, and the anime – to hell with them! Why can't I get a chance with the girl I like?!"

(Wow, he's laying it all out. This is pretty entertaining.)

"Loser gorilla mangaka – let me do what I want for once, damn it all!"

(Ouch, taking it out on Sorachi-sensei now?)

"And how come that other gorilla bastard Kondo, actually gets to have more relationship development with her?!"

(Eeeeeeehhh?! This is Kondo's fault all of a sudden?!)

"Are you trying to be considerate to him because he is a gorilla, like you are?! Is this gorilla solidarity?! Screw that!"

(So it's **both** their fault now?! Who's next?! **Ichigo**?! Does his happiness with Orihime piss you off too, Gintoki?!)

"There is no way I'm letting that shitty gorilla get her! No way! Not in a million years!"

"I'm the main character in this manga, damn it! You expect me to start going out with Tsukuyo and accept this farce quietly?!"

(Oi, oi, that's going a bit too far… this guy is gonna get my fanfiction flamed for sure… I better do something fast!)

Gintoki was reaching the pinnacle of his outburst, as he turned to stare angrily at the sky, and proclaimed heatedly: "Never! I'd sooner die than accept it. Oi, you hear me?! Death for the main character! I bet that would be bad for ratings, right?!"

A calm, gentle voice finally interrupted him. "Actually, I think the show's ratings would go considerably higher if you really died, Gin-san. That seems to be a real niche in the manga and anime world, nowadays." What a grim comment, though…

" _Uh-oh… that voice. Where did_ _ **she**_ _come from?! I'm not even halfway to the dojo yet! If this was pokemon, my screen would start flashing right now, and I'd get a message saying "A wild Otae has appeared!". Well, NOW I'm officially screwed. Are you doing this on purpose Gorilla-san? Look, I'm sorry! I didn't mean all that stuff I said, so please stop her before she really does kill me!_ _"_

"…but a lot of people would be very sad if that were to happen, too. I might shed a tear or two, myself." continued Otae with a laugh.

" _Well... THAT, I did not expect._ _"_

"Otae, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Me? I was just on my way to 'Snack Otose', to be honest. There are a few things I wanted to discuss with Otose-san, since I have taken her place as one of the Four Devas in Kabukichou. May I ask where you're going, Gin-san?"

" _Oh great, now what do I say? I don't want to tell her I was going to the dojo in order to see how she was doing!_ _"_

"Well, I was on my way to the dojo to see if Hasegawa-san was there, training with the rest of the bums. I owe him a few bucks, and thought it was high time I pay him back."

" _Yosh! Nailed it!"_

"There are no training sessions at the dojo today, we need to order more macadamia nuts first, but didn't you already know that?"

" _Crap… gotta think of something else."_

(Strike one, for Lying!)

"A… Actually, I wanted to come over and check if Shinpachi was at home. We have work to do, you know? I thought he'd either be at home, or slacking off at that Otsu fan club of his."

"That's odd. Shinpachi came by earlier today, only to say that the Yorozuya was done with work, that you paid him, and that you let him go to his fan club for the rest of the evening. Gin-san, are you hiding something from me?" Otae was starting to get annoyed, judging by her tone.

" _Shinpachiiiiii! Damn you! You actually went home, before you went to the club?!_ _"_

(Strike number two, for Lying!)

"OK, the truth is… Kagura! She took Sadaharu for a short walk outside, but they've been gone for several hours now, and I'm worried sick! I'm out trying to find them."

(Dude… that's just desperate.)

"Gin-san. Kagura already reported to me, that she would spend the day with princess Soyo, and you know it! Why are you lying to me, straight to my face?!" she was visibly pissed now.

"Reported to you? What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" apparently, so was Gintoki.

Otae crossed her hands in front of her chest, showing no signs of backing down. "Well, I did say that I'm one of the Four Devas now. Kagura happens to be one of my most resolute followers. It's only natural that she is positioned high among my ranks, and she reports to me everything. Daily."

" _That little, traitorous bitch! I need to give her and Patsuan a thrashing, the next time I see them!_ _"_

(Strike three, for Lying! Aaaand, he's OUT!)

"Now, stop trying to lie to me, and tell me what's going on! Or else…!" she rolled up the sleeve of her kimono, and started cracking her right knuckles, one by one, slowly approaching Gintoki.

Instantly fearing for his life, Gintoki took a few steps back, and decided to spill the beans.

"Wait, wait, wait. You win, alright?! I just had nothing to do, so I wanted to come by the dojo, see how you were doing, then maybe go drinking at 'Snack Smile'! OK?!" he kept backing away from her, until he felt his back reach a dead end. A fence. He had nowhere to run.

(Next we have the Truth come out on the field. He swings! And it's a HOME RUN, folks!)

Otae froze in her tracks, her rage deflating. It even looked as if, it was replaced by a small blush?

"Oh… is that all? You could've just said so. You can be my escort for the day, then. Walk me the rest of the way to Otose-san's place, then we can go back to the dojo, so I can change clothes, and we can go together to 'Snack Smile'. How does that sound?" she offered, now in a lot more lighthearted mood.

" _Better than getting beat up to a pulp, that's for sure…_ _"_

"Sounds good." he answered, very relieved to have been spared from her wrath.

Otae smiled her big, 24k gold smile, and she hooked her left arm through his right one. The gesture caught Gintoki by surprise, but he was quick to cover it up as normal. They slowly started making their way back, to 'Snack Otose'.

" _Man, what I wouldn't give to have that smile directed at me every day…_ _"_

It didn't take long, until his curiosity kicked in.

"Hey, did you really mean what you said, back there? That a lot of people would be sad, if I'm dead?"

"Well of course I do, silly. Honestly, didn't you watch the last movie? Everyone was depressed because you were gone, after all." she answered him.

"Uhm… don't you think we've broken the fourth wall enough times this episode?"

" _At least, it looks like she didn't hear my whole rant._ _"_

"Well, you started it all. Oh, and by the way - I heard you're whole rant." she deadpanned.

" _Oh, great... so now she's a mind reader, too._ _"_

"No, I'm not." she said.

"You're not what?" he asked.

She turned to look at him "A mind reader."

"Then how come you know I was thinking that?!" bellowed Gintoki.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Gin-san." gently giggled Otae.

" _This chick! Drives me! CRAZY!_ _"_

" _Hold on a second…_ _?"_

"If you really heard everything, and you're not mad at me, then does that mean-"

"That I like you? Hmm, I wonder... would that make you happy?" she closed her eyes and looked innocently at him.

" _Is she teasing me?! She's totally making fun of me right now!_ _"_

"Yeah, right! Who'd be happy to go out with a crazy woman like you?! Not me! I prefer living!"

(Really? You think **that** line is gonna help you?)

" _I'll just provoke her, and make her punch me, like she always does! Here comes the pain!_ _"_

But the pain never came.

Instead of punching him (like she should have), Otae only slowly cast her gaze down to the pavement.

"You're not being very honest today, Gin-san. Unlike that one time with Obi-one-niisama, remember? You said straight to my face, that you were there to cut down my first love. I got down on my knees and begged you to spare him for at least a few more hours… do you remember?" the sad memory had given her a solemn look on her face.

" _Of course, I do. All I wanted to do back then was comfort you in some way, but he was going to hurt Shinpachi if I didn't act then and there. But why are_ _ **you**_ _remembering this now?_ _"_

"I'm sorry. Back then, I acted like a huge dick (Oh, nice movie pun!), while you were hurting. I really should have handled the situation better, huh?" he really didn't know what to say to her, so he only opted to scratch the back of his head with his free hand.

"Please, don't apologies. The truth is, you were trying to protect both Shinpachi and me, right? I'm sorry for being so unreasonable all the time."

"Don't be. I like you, just the way you are."

(Too bad, curly. Looks like somebody just got busted! And you were so close to entirely changing the subject about the rant, too!)

The pair stopped in their tracks. Both Gintoki and Otae's eyes grew as wide as saucers.

 _"What just flew, out of my mouth?! ! RED ALERT !"_

"Reall-?" she tried to ask.

"Forget what I just said! I bit my tongue, so it came out wrong!" he quickly tried to mend the situation.

They both stared at each other, for a few seconds. Otae in slight shock, and Gintoki as if he was constipated. Then she let out a small laugh.

"There you go again, trying to lie to me. But it won't work, I'm afraid."

Gintoki's shoulders suddenly slumped.

" _That's just great. She has enough blackmail on me now, to work me like a horse for the rest of my life… Can things get any worse?_ _"_

"Can we just go, now? You can tell everyone, and make fun of me all you want, later." by this point, he sounded really depressed.

"Sure." they resumed walking, though Gintoki's pace was really dejected.

"Can I just share one small secret with you, though?" she asked.

"I can't stop you, can I?" was the depressed response.

"About that whole rant you had. I'm kinda mad that the shitty mangaka doesn't always let me do, what I want to do, too, you know?" she said, as she lowered her head, and gave his hand a slight squeeze.

What she said, slowly started to register into his head.

"You mean?"

"Yeah." she was redder than a tomato, by now.

…

After several silent seconds of just blank staring from both of them, Otae regained her composure, and the two resumed their walk, albeit they were a lot more conscious of each other now.

"Do you think, we can make this work?" he asked, still slightly dazed from the entire revelation.

"The White Demon, and one of the Four Deva's? Some might say, we're a match made in Heaven." said Otae, while gazing at the sky.

"…or Hell." mused Gintoki while scratching his chin with his free hand, and staring at the cold hard ground.

That comment earned him a light, yet effective punch on his right side, straight to his ribs.

"Ooof!"

"That was very funny Gin-san. Would you like to try cracking some more jokes, so I can make a few more cracks at you, or have you had enough for now?" was the sweet, venom-laced reply.

"I think… I'm good… for now." said Gintoki, trying to gain control over his breathing.

He wanted to change the conversation back to a serious subject again.

"I'll bet Patsuan is really not going to like this."

Otae wasn't really worried about her younger brother. "We'll just give him some time. He'll accept it, sooner or later. I'm actually more worried about Kondo-san. His heart may not be able to take it."

"I can't wait to tell **him**." snickered Gintoki.

"Please, don't rub it in his face, Gin-san. I feel really bad for him, enough as it is."

"Alright." Gintoki turned to smile at her. "I'll try to go soft on him, for you."

He looked so handsome with that soft smile, and gentle look in his eyes… she could definitely get used to this.

They were nearing 'Snack Otose', by now. And, boy were Otose, Catherine and Tama about to receive the biggest shock, ever. They would be the first to know.

"Can I ask you something, though? How did you notice that you like me?" he was curious.

"It's very funny that you ask – See, I was just at home, washing yours and Shin-chans instructor outfits, then I just started thinking about all the things we've been through, when suddenly a voice out of nowhere started guiding me to some... realizations." she explained, with a contented look on her face.

"...really? A voice, you say? Like a ghost?"

"Hmm… no, I don't think so. The voice was too friendly to be a ghost. It didn't give me that ' **I'm here to take your soul!** ' kind of vibe, you know? It was a very pleasant voice, actually."

(Why, thank you, dear. It was a pleasure talking to you, unlike with that moron walking next to you.)

"What's wrong Gin-san? You look rather pale, all of a sudden." she gently cupped his right cheek, out of worry.

"Oh, it's nothing. This world can be a really scary place, sometimes." laughed off a pale faced Gintoki.

…

That ought to teach him a lesson. Better show me some gratitude the next time we meet in your head, you permed prick. - commented from above, the author of this story :D

* * *

 **And that's that, folks. Hope you enjoyed the read, as I enjoyed writing it. Keep in mind that, English is not my native language, so there are bound to be some mistakes, here and there. I'd really like to read a review or two, since this is my first work. Based on that, I will decide if I should continue writing more stories(Not necessarily more Gintama, though).**

 **Also, I know some of you might be disappointed, that there wasn't a kiss scene, but honestly, it felt to me, like it would've just ruined the moment… It's still a bit too early for them. So, I leave their first kiss to your wild imaginations! :)**


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